


I Won't Say I'm In Love

by walking_travesty



Series: Kill Them With Kindness [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Harry being too sweet for his own good, Hidden Relationships, Louis trying to be a better person for himself and for Harry, Love, M/M, Nick just trying to get by, Oops, i don't know what else to put, sappy romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-13
Updated: 2014-10-13
Packaged: 2018-02-20 23:33:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2447156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/walking_travesty/pseuds/walking_travesty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis doesn’t remember how it happens, he doesn’t remember a lot of things but this particular thing he has the most trouble remembering. He doesn’t quite remember <i>how</i> or <i>why</i> he and Harry started dating, but he figured it was bound to happen at some point. After that night at Harry’s house, it was like they were magnets; always being pulled together somehow. It started out as a simple fling; Louis and Harry finding anytime and anyplace to feel the heat of each other’s skin once again, but soon enough, things started to become less simple. The closer they got, the more they couldn’t let each other go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Won't Say I'm In Love

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so some people suggested that I make a sequel for 'Kill Them with Kindness" and I couldn't resist any longer. HERE IS THE SORTA SEQUEL FOR THAT WORK I HOPE YOU ENJOY. 
> 
>  
> 
> * btw whenever there's a '++' it means that some time has pass since the previous scene.

Louis doesn’t remember how it happens, he doesn’t remember a lot of things but this particular thing he has the most trouble remembering. He doesn’t quite remember _how_ or _why_ he and Harry started dating, but he figured it was bound to happen at some point. After that night at Harry’s house, it was like they were magnets; always being pulled together somehow. It started out as a simple fling; Louis and Harry finding anytime and anyplace to feel the heat of each other’s skin once again, but soon enough, things started to become less simple. The closer they got, the more they couldn’t let each other go.

“I think we’re co-dependent on each other now.” Louis had said one day, his sweat laced hair sticking to his forehead, his mind was still hazy after the third time he came from Harry’s fingers, limbs numb and voice wrecked. Harry turned to face Louis, blanket falling to just above his waist.

“I think we are,” Harry purred lowly, leaning over to kiss Louis, slow and languidly, “I can’t keep my hands off of you.” He mumbles against Louis’ lips, biting and sucking onto his lower lip. Louis smiles a devious smile, his hand trailing down Harry’s front, grabbing onto Harry’s cock. Harry groans loudly, pushing his tongue through Louis’ eager lips, pushing his hips into Louis’ grasp.

“I never want to quit you.” Louis whispers, rolling them over so he’s seated on top of Harry. Harry pulls away from his lips, grabbing one of Louis’ hands.

“Then don’t.” Harry says, dark green eyes staring intensely into Louis’ eyes. Louis stops what he’s doing, his other hand gripping Harry’s hip.

“Okay.” Louis says, leaning down to kiss Harry, “okay.”

And so the two started something between them that neither of them quite understood but nonetheless tried to make the best of it. It was Louis who wanted to keep things quiet about them, opting to keep their relationship under wraps until he was ready.

Louis hadn’t had much luck with relationships in the past, man after man leaving Louis all by himself in the end, he even tried with Nick at one point, but figured there was nothing more than a strong friendship between them. Harry tried for weeks, those weeks turning into months to try and get Louis to be open with their relationship, and every time, Louis said no, and six months later, Louis is still against it.

“Babe, come back to bed.” Harry whines, rubbing a hand over his eyes. Louis rolls his eyes, trying to hide the smile forming on his mouth.

“I can’t, Nick’s expecting me for breakfast today.” Louis says, fastening his watch to his wrist. Harry whines again, long and drawn out and Louis can’t help but laugh. “Tell me why I’m dating you again?” Louis says in a teasing tone, turning to see his boyfriend sprawled out over the bed, hair covering his face almost entirely.

“Because I have a big dick.” Harry smirks, pushing the hair out of his face to look at Louis.

“Oh yea, almost forgot.” Louis says back, falling beside Harry on the bed. Harry wraps his arm around Louis’ waist, pulling him closer to him.

“Are you going to tell Nick that we’re dating?” Harry murmurs, kissing the tip of Louis’ nose. Louis ducks his head, his cheeks rising in color.

“Not yet, babe, I want you to be my little secret for a little while longer.” Louis says, sighing as he leans forward, kissing the corner of Harry’s mouth. Harry pouts, rubbing Louis’ lower back tenderly.

“I hate keeping us a secret.” Harry sighs, putting his forehead against Louis’.

Louis nods, sighing himself. “I know Haz, but just a while longer okay?” Louis says, putting his hand on the side of Harry’s face. Harry nods, leaning more into his touch.

“I love you.” Harry says quietly.

“I-“ Louis stops, gulping, “I have to go.” Louis says in a hurry, unraveling himself from Harry’s grasp.

“Will you ever be able to say I love you back?” Harry calls, sitting up. Louis gets to his feet, guilt boiling in the pit of his stomach as he looks at Harry.

“One day, maybe.” Louis says shyly, scurrying done the hallway of Harry’s house.

\---

“Something’s up with you and Harry.” Nick says, eyeing Louis suspiciously over the edge of his cup. Louis stops stirring his tea, looking back into Nick’s eyes, nervous tension pumping through his veins.

“What, uh, what do you mean?” Louis says, trying to keep his voice neutral. Nick sits down his coffee, lacing his fingers together as he leans back in his chair.

“I mean that whenever you and Harry are in the same room now, it’s almost like you want to-“ Nick stops, hoping that Louis gets the hint, “I know you said you two were on good terms but shit, it’s almost like you two want to fuck each other’s brains out.” Nick scoffs, settling more into his seat. Louis nearly chokes on his tea, setting down the cup as he looks at Nick wildly, heart pumping against his chest.

“Nick, I honestly don’t know where you get these absurd ideas of yours,” Louis says, telling himself to _calm down_ when he notices that his hands have a slight shake to them. Louis wasn’t good under pressure and he felt like he was about to explode with anxiety. Nick just shrugs casually, reaching for his coffee, “Harry and I aren’t friends, but I can tolerate him now; isn’t that what you wanted?” Louis says in a surprisingly stable voice.

“Fair point, maybe my readings are off.” Nick says, taking Louis’ words into consideration. Nick looks at Louis one more time, almost as if he’s going to say something before deciding against it.

++

“I think Nick’s on to us, babe.” Harry murmurs into the side of Louis’ neck. Louis tries to move but ends up having his arms trapped around Harry’s embrace.

“I know.” Louis sighs, letting him take control. Harry bites into the tender part of Louis’ neck, his hands sliding down Louis’ back.

“We have to tell him eventually,” Harry sighs into Louis’ hair.

“I _know_ , Harry.” Louis says again, guilt filling is entire body. He wanted anything to be with Harry openly, but some stupid part deep down inside of his just couldn’t let him do it just yet. He’d try and try to make himself better, to make himself better for Harry and himself, but he just never could manage for long.

“Hey, don’t disappear into the head of yours again,” Harry murmurs, pulling back to look Louis in the eye.

“I’m sorry, it’s just too-“

“-much, I know,” Harry finishes, “You’ve told me a million times now it seems like.”

“I’m so sorry.” Louis chokes, trying not to let himself cry. Harry just shushes him, wrapping his arms gently around Louis’ torso, bringing Louis into his warm and calming embrace.

“I know.”

++

“No.” Harry says, pulling his shirt back down.

“What do you mean no?” Louis whines, slipping his hand under Harry’s shirt.

“I mean no, as in, no I won’t fuck you.” Harry says, leaning away from Louis’ wondering touch. Louis puts his hand back to his side, getting up from the couch.

“And why the hell not?” Louis says, irritated. Harry tries to reach for this hand but Louis slaps his away, walking to the other side of the room.

“Because I know you and you’re trying to ignore your feelings by fucking me!” Harry says. Louis freezes, his heart pumping faster than before. Louis knows he’s right and he feels even more like shit. “You can’t keep doing this Louis, you can’t just keep everything bottled up until you can’t anymore,” Harry says, approaching Louis slowly, keeping eye contact with him as he goes.

“But I don’t know how to-“ Louis tries to say, words jumbling in his brain all at once. Harry nods, putting his hands on Louis’ waist.

“I can help you, I can help you help yourself if you let me,” Harry says quietly, the room silent aside from their mingled breathing , “I love you, please let me help you.” Harry says, leaning down to give Louis a chaste, and sweet kiss. Louis is silently for a while, his forehead resting against Harry’s chest.

“Okay.”

++

Harry is washing dishes, when it happens. He doesn’t hear it at first, but he knows he definitely heard it.

“What was that, love?” Harry says over his shoulder, his heart beating against his chest. He sees Louis sigh, fiddling with the end of his shirt. Harry knew he did that when he was nervous, and that catches the rest of Harry’s attention.

“I said I love you.” Louis says a little louder, looking straight into Harry’s eyes. Harry swears he stopped breathing for a few seconds, mindlessly shutting off the sink as he turns to face Louis fully, wiping his hands on a dish towel.

Louis looks unsure of himself, Harry can see this anxiety coming off of him in waves and that makes Harry’s heart constrict even more.

“Can you repeat that please?” Harry says, walking over to Louis. Louis releases a breath, a small smile forming on his lips.

“I said, I love you.” Louis says in a more confident tone. “I love you so much.” Louis adds, leaning up to kiss Harry on the cheek. Harry is speechless, over whelmed with feelings.

“I love you too.” Is the only thing he found fitting for this moment, he wraps his arms around Louis, wishing to never let go.

This was the start of a new chapter for them, and Harry couldn’t wait to see what came next.

++

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Harry whispers against Louis’ ear, “We can still make that movie if we leave now.” Louis shakes his head, smiling.

“No, this has been seven months overdue and I’m ready to make things right.” Louis sighs, wrapping an around Harry’s waist. Harry nods, knocking on Nick’s door. Nick opens it, his face going from neutral to confused.

“Uh, what’s all this?” Nick says, leaning against his door frame.

“You were right-kind of-“ Louis says, “about Harry and I.”

“So-You two are like, a thing?”

“Uh-Yea, for a while now actually.” Harry says, shrugging. “Sorry for lying to you, Grim.” Nick has a straight face for a few seconds, looking at Harry and then Louis and then he laughs; loud and annoying, leaving Harry and Louis quite confused.

“I knew you two had a thing going on, I was just waiting to see how long it’d take for you two to tell someone.” Nick says, wiping away a fake tear from his eye. Louis’ mouth goes slack, his cheeks turning red.

“Y-You _knew_ this whole fucking time?” Louis asks, looking up at Harry. Harry just shrugs, seeming just as shocked.

“Of course I did, I’m not a bloody idiot.” Nick says, moving out of the way and motioning for them to step inside.

“How long have you known?” Louis asks, lacing his fingers between Harry’s. Harry doesn’t hesitate , grabbing onto Louis’ hand and pulling him close to his side.

“Eh, about six months.” Nick says casually, combing his long fingers through his hair. Louis turns to him, eyebrows scrunched together.

“So you’ve known since the beginning and you didn’t bother to mention this to us?” Louis says, irritated. He doesn’t know if he’s irritated at Nick or himself.

“Yea pretty much, I know how weird relationships are to you and I wanted to make sure Harry was up for helping you with that.” Nick says, walking over to the couch. He sits down, folding his long legs under himself as he looks over at Louis and Harry. Louis looks away, suddenly taking interest in the fern next to Nick’s window, surprised that he hadn’t killed it yet. He sighs when he feels Harry put his hand on Louis’ hip, kissing his cheek tentatively.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone else?” Louis says, subconsciously rubbing his thumb over one of Harry’s knuckles.

“Because it wasn’t my business to tell,” Nick says, “I know I’m a bit of a gossip but I can keep my mouth close when I feel it’s needed.”

“Well, thanks, I guess.” Louis said quietly, suddenly realizing how great of a friend Nick was-sometimes.

“No need for that, darling, all I ask of you two is that you’re not disgustingly obsessed with each other.”

\---

“You guys are fucking arse holes.” Nick mutters next to them. Louis looks back at him, still sitting in Harry’s lap. Harry kisses the side of Louis’ neck, leaving a purpling love bite after.

“W-Why?” Louis stutters, his mind fuzzy around the edges, intoxicated with the presence of Harry.

“Because you invite me over to hang out and then you proceed to suck each other’s faces the entire time.” Nick grumbles, getting up from the couch.

“Nick, don’t go, please.” Harry laughs, leaning his forehead against Louis’ shoulder.

“Nope, forget it, I know where that is leading to and I don’t want to be here for what happens next.” Nick says in disgust, shaking his head at his two best friends. He grabs his coat, saluting them before he opens the front door of Louis’ house, closing the door behind him.

“I hope we don’t scare off all of our friends like that.” Harry pouts, kissing the tip of Louis’ nose.

Louis bends down, kissing up the side of Harry’s neck, “It could be a good thing-more alone time for us.” He whispers against Harry’s ear. Harry’s hands slide onto Louis’ bum, moving Louis so he could get on top of him. Louis wraps his legs around Harry’s hips, rolling his hips up against Harry’s front.

“I love you.” Harry says, voice sincere as he slides his hands under Louis’ shirt, feeling his soft, tanned skin.

“I love you too.” 

++ 

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos are appreciated  
> Comments (good and bad) are always welcomed!  
> Thank you so much for reading. c:


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